In case you haven’t noticed, a good amount of my writing focuses on finding inner strength and being true to yourself. However, you may also have noticed that in the subtitle of this blog lies the word “rants”.
While most of the time I like to write positive and uplifting posts, I also enjoy allowing my sarcastic side to present itself in my writing. Today, for your entertainment (and my own), I thought I would call attention to things people do that make me want to smash my head against a wall. Perhaps you can relate to my frustration, or you’re a perpetrator; regardless, sit back, grab a drink, and enjoy.
If you do this, I hate you:
Cram into a packed subway car
You didn’t make it this time. Tough sh*t. If it’s rush hour, another train will show up in less than 10 minutes (sometimes less than 5), so deal with your tardiness and stop shoving me into smelly strangers. Also, do not pry the doors open. Not only is it dangerous, but you are also wasting time. It may only be 15-30 seconds, but those are my 15-30 seconds and I don’t appreciate you making me spend them awkwardly pushed up against a family of tourists.
Hit ‘reply all’ to mass e-mails
This is like a domino effect; once someone hits ‘reply all’ to a mass email…everyone hits ‘reply all’ to the email. This is particularly frustrating if the initial email was unwelcome or irrelevant to me in the first place because now I will have 10 more of them in my Inbox. Plus, I will be forced to read them because having unread e-mails is equally annoying.
Are a 2014 Zombie i.e. people walking glued to their phone
If you’re walking and you need to do something on your phone, kindly do everyone else a solid and ‘pull over’, as I like to refer to it. Just step out of the way and continue writing your tweet or liking something on Facebook. If you do not see me walking directly at you because you’re too busy starring at your smartphone, then prepare for an elbow to the chest because I will not move out of the way if you don’t even try to do the awkward dance move (when both of you try to move out of the way but end up moving the same way each time like you’re dancing together and it’s super uncomfortable).
Are unnecessarily unfriendly
If we are in some sort of situation where I am forced to talk to you, like at work or a party, don’t be a d*ck. You don’t need to ask me about what I do, where I live, or what I think about the most recent season of Game of Thrones (although that would be a welcome discussion); but don’t avoid me like I just made an inappropriate racist remark. Say ‘hi’. Throw in a ‘hows it going’ and you’re cool in my book. But if you avoid eye contact and talk to everyone BUT me for no apparent reason, I like you about as much as I like spilling coffee on myself first thing in the morning.
Ask too many unnecessary questions
If I just found something out do not proceed to perform an inquisition on me. If I tell you about a social gathering you may only ask “where” and “when”. Do not ask me who’s going. Do not ask me what the place is like. Do not ask me if it’s close to that one place we went but you can’t remember the name and the bartender was rude. Just say “ok”. If you ask me questions about something I don’t have answers for, you will receive sarcastic and unhelpful responses.
Ask why I look so angry
I suffer from RBF (Resting Bitch Face). How dare you.
And last, but not least…refuse to recycle.
The recycling bin is almost ALWAYS next to a garbage bin. Will it save the planet? Probably not. Does it hurt anyone but make us feel better? Yes, so just do it. I don’t care if I sound like hippy, I recycle and so should you. You know what recycled plastic bottles become? Warm and delightful fleece jackets. I love fleece jackets. Let the world have more fleece jackets and recycle your bottle.