I’m one of those people who has zero luck. When I drive a car I’m the person who will hit every single red light, especially if I’m in a rush. If I play a card game, or any game, that requires just a little bit of luck I will lose and I will lose hard. I’ve learned to deal with it but once in a while I feel a sting of jealousy towards those whom life seems to shines upon; lucky people. I can’t even count how many times things have fallen apart in front me and how many times I’ve had to regroup while I watch everyone around me flourish. Sometimes I feel like a have a cloud following me and whenever it starts to rain, it pours. It is incredibly frustrating and exhausting but for whatever reason it pushes me to try even harder. Of course there are times when I want to say “ok life you win, I give up” but (un)fortunately I am far too stubborn to give up.
Being stubborn is one of my greatest strengths and biggest weaknesses. I have made life incredibly harder at times because I get stuck in my own ways, even if they’re not working, and refuse to ask for help or advice. I have also pissed people off to no end by refusing their advice only to come back later with my tail between my legs and a weak “you were right”. However, being stubborn is also what has got me through some of the hardest times in my life. The words persistent and resilient are probably more appropriate, but for the sake of consistency I’ll stick with stubborn.
Things don’t fall into my lap. Life doesn’t ‘do me a solid’ from time to time. In fact, life seems to work against me most of the time. I’ve always loved being in the sun and have always worn sunscreen; life gave me a basal cell on my scalp (the one place I never put sunscreen). I’ve always been very active and loved running and playing sports; life gave me permanent nerve damage in my back and a doctor saying “you will never run again”. But again, I’m too stubborn to let life take things away from me so I found ways to work around these misfortunes. After I had the surgery to remove the basal cell, I started wearing hats (and fun scarves) and wearing 50+ sunscreen because I refuse not to go outside. After my back injury, I have spent the past 10 years working to strengthen my back and the rest of my body and now I can run 7+ miles and even race (take that medical science). Those were two extremely unlucky events in my life, but who needs luck?
There’s a line in Titanic that goes, “A real man makes his own luck,” and that’s what I’ve had to do. Do I get frustrated when I see things coming together time and time again for some people while I have to fight tooth and nail to just put one piece together? Of course, but I try to use it as motivation to try harder. Not everyone is lucky, in fact some of us are incredibly unlucky. The trick is to realize that making your own luck can make you a stronger person in the long run. When life takes things away from you or throws you a curve ball, don’t dwell on “this would only happen to me”. I think that a lot, but then I think to myself “and that’s why I’m stronger than a lot of people…I can handle this.” When something goes wrong in my life, it usually means that two or three more things will go wrong at the same time (when it rains it pours). Unlucky? Perhaps. Frustrating? Big time. But I’m far too stubborn to let my downfalls get the best of me so I keep trying. I’ve wanted to give up more times than I can count, but I’m too stubborn to give in and that’s why I believe that stubbornness can be a great strength. It is incredibly frustrating to try and try again and have nothing work out. It is especially frustrating to try and have even more things go wrong, but for whatever reason I refuse to let that stop me. Right now I am having zero luck with finding a job and sometimes I get to the point where I want to give up on finding a great job and settle for a mediocre one. But my stubborness won’t let me, so I will keep trying no matter how frustrated I get. Luck has never been my thing so I guess I’ll just keeping trying to make my own, like a real (wo)man.