Those who know me well know that of all the holidays and joyous occasions to celebrate, my least favorite is Christmas. I know this makes me a Grinch, but once I see that first display of Christmas decorations (in October none the less), I’m not filled with joy or the holiday spirit, I’m immediately struck with panic and the sad realization that it’s coming.
Now that the holidays have come and gone, I’ve realized why I despise a day that so many look forward to for entire year…I always fail at Christmas. I can never get it together in time to get the gifts my family and friends deserve, I can never get into the holiday spirit because I’m consumed with the thought of braving the mall plus finding the time to go, and I basically spend the whole month of December thinking “it’s not coming, it’s not coming, it’s not coming…” while rocking in the fetal position. I set myself up for failure (which I do constantly in life…but more on that later) and end up stressed and disappointed on a day that supposed to be about love, giving, and family. Sorry guys.
December 26th is usually a day filled with relief that I survived another Christmas, but this year was different. I was not filled with relief that the season was finally over. Instead, I was filled with regret. Today, all of the gifts and gestures I should have done for Christmas flooded my mind. I thought to myself “Great ideas! Except for the fact that the holidays are over. Where were these ideas a month ago?!” The problem was that a month ago I was in such a panic and mindset that Christmas is stupid, that all of the things I could have done to make the season enjoyable escaped me. I also realized that I always do this. Every. Single. Year.
I’ve mastered becoming my worst critic and saboteur, which is something I really need to stop but that’s not the point right now. The point is this; instead of focusing on why Christmas sucks and how commercial it’s become, and blah blah blah…I could try and turn all that negative energy into positive energy and not make it all about me and my hatred of Christmas time. Certainly easier said than done, but perhaps it’s not impossible. Instead of feeling as if I have “failed” Christmas, maybe next year I can try to “win” Christmas. Winning Christmas is not buying the “best” gifts or finishing my shopping a month before everyone else; winning would be enjoying the season and helping others enjoy it. I think Buddy the Elf said it best, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is by singing loud for all to hear.” Prepare to be serenaded.
Next year, instead of seeing that first holiday display and turning green, I’ll focus on what to get and do for my loved ones for Christmas. Christmas is supposed to be the season of giving so at the very least I can give them a happy face on Christmas morning. I realize now that it’s selfish to get wrapped up in the reasons I don’t like the holiday when I should be focused on why the people I care about enjoy it.
And on December 29th, 2014, the Grinch’s heart grew three times that day…