2014: The Year of the City

I know my last post was about various life lessons, but it’s the end of the year again and there are a few more pearls of wisdom I’d like to share from good ole’ 2014.  This past year has been full of many challenges, triumphs, and changes, the biggest one of all being my migration from snowy upstate to the hustling and bustling Big City.  It’s been about 9 months since I moved and I’ve come to consider myself a seasoned city dweller, so I wanted to share things I’ve learned from the past (almost) year; the good, the bad, and the un-hilariously ugly.

No one in The City gives a s*** about you.

Why it’s good: sometimes you’re mad or upset and you can’t control it, despite being in public.  In some places people would probably see you and ask what’s wrong or try to help you when you totally don’t want them to.  I have openly wept on a subway and no one even batted an eye.  You can also resemble a homeless person and no one cares.  I’ve gotten on a hot subway fresh out of a spin class (i.e. sweaty and disgusting) and no one said anything.  It was great.

Why it’s bad: a woman sat on me in the subway.  She SAT ON ME.  She gave no f***s   that there was only enough room for an elf on the subway seat but decided to go for it.  As a result, she sat on me, which practically ejected me from my seat and left me with a horrible memory of that day

You will never run out of things to do.

Why it’s good: I love my former home, but there were maybe four bars to go to…maybe.  In The City there is always a new restaurant, a new show, and a new homeless man dancing for nickels so it’s impossible to get bored.

Why it’s bad: most of these things cost money…a lot of money.  And deciding where to eat can be almost impossible if every says “I’m fine with anything.” I’ve learned to narrow it down by borough, then neighborhood and even then you’re left with a billion options.

The City never sleeps.

Why it’s good: you really can get anything, anytime, anywhere your heart desires.  Wine shops that close at midnight, deli sandwiches at 3am, and not to mention bars stay open “until 4” i.e., until last man standing. Plus, everything delivers.

Why it’s bad: your millions of neighbors can also get anything they want.  You may think “it’s 10:30pm, no one will be at “insert popular restaurant.”  False.  I was once told I couldn’t get a reservation until 10:45pm.  Remember, you have millions of neighbors.  Plus the vermin, excuse me, I mean tourists.   Also, it’s loud.  All. The. Time.  Which is why I live in the boroughs.  I need my sleep.

You will never want to live anywhere else.  

Living in The City can be hard, I will never deny that.  I sometimes have a love/hate relationship with it, mainly when my train is delayed or a crazy person yells at me on my way to work, but fortunately those instances are far and few between (well, not so much for the train…damn you MTA). I still get a rush every time I see the skyline lit up at night or walk out of the subway into one of my favorite neighborhoods.  Every time I walk down a brownstone-lined block or eat a bagel I remember why I love it here.

 

A bonus mini-post…

 

You can call yourself a “city dweller” once you have completed at least 5 of the following:

Killed a bug with your bare hands

Shoved a tourist and not apologized

Shamelessly eaten a bagel on the subway

Gotten on the subway the wrong way. Twice

Pet a horse cop and not gotten arrested

Been almost hit by a cab for crossing when you shouldn’t have

Become immune to the smell and appearance of homeless people

Considered sitting in a park “being one with nature”

Rerouted your cab driver because you knew a better route

Completely stopped caring what strangers think about you


I’ve completed 6, I’ll let you guess which ones.

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