You Are Not Twenty Anymore…a Letter to Myself

Dear Bro Chick,

You are not 20 years old anymore…

You have been over 21 for five years, your ID is legitimate, stop looking nervously at the bouncer.

I know it’s cold, but you should not wear Uggs to work.  You are a professional. (Actually forget that one, once the temperature falls below 10 degrees all f***s go out the window)

You will feel terrible tomorrow if you stay up past 1:30am tonight.

Do not order a bud light at a bar…even if they’re only $3.

You have had that poster of Johnny Depp playing the piano since you were 16.  It has a hole in it.  It’s time to take it down.

It is not appropriate to have a temper tantrum:

-when the bagel store runs out of everything bagels

-when the line at Starbucks is really long

-when your boss ignores you

-when you step in a puddle

-when the train is delayed

ever…you are an adult

Maybe don’t yell as loud in a sports bar during a Giants game…unless there is someone louder.  And drunker.

Quality over quantity.

Do not be the drunkest girl at the party.

You ordered and paid for a subscription to Women’s Health, read them and stop letting them pile up under the coffee table.

Donuts are not an appropriate meal.  Neither are jelly beans.

Brush you hair.

You WILL get a hangover if you have that next drink.

And most importantly, keep trying, keep growing, and keep rocking on.

Love always,

The Bro Chick

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You Do You

I’ve learned from my friends that even if I tell someone a thousand times not to do something, they’re going to do it (or not do it) regardless of what I say.  When it comes down to it, everyone makes their decisions based on their own feelings despite what others think.

Even when we’re completely honest with another person when describing a situation, there’s always that 1% that we keep to ourselves.  That 1% is what makes the decision.  At the end of the day, no one knows you better than you know yourself, so your decisions have to come from within.  It can be helpful to hear advice from people who care, but when it comes down to it, their opinions don’t really matter.  It’s not their life that will change, it’s yours.  People also have their own best interest at heart, whether it’s conscious or subconscious, which can impact the advice they give you.  However, take it with a grain of salt because something they say might start to change the way you perceive a situation.

When I decided to change my minor during my last semester of college, not one single person told me it was a good idea.  My advisor pleaded with me to change my mind, my parents were nervous, and my friends thought I was insane.  But I did it because deep down I knew I had to for reasons I couldn’t really explain to anyone else.  It ended up being the right choice and I will forever be grateful to myself for making that decision.

Even when we make the wrong choice and we hear “I told you so”, that mistake teaches us an important lesson.  People are so afraid of making mistakes and struggling that eventually they stop taking leaps.  When you’re ready to take a leap, you may hear that it’s too risky or you should re-think your decision.  Look at where that response is coming from.  Has that person ever taken a risk?  Do they always play it safe?  I find the best advice comes from people who have taken risks and failed because even though their initial goal didn’t work out, something even better did.

This past year I have taken risks and leaps and so far not one of them has worked out the way I thought they would.  And I don’t regret a single one.  Is it hard to pick yourself up after yet another failed attempt?  Absolutely, but it starts to get easier.  Rather than asking for people’s advice, I tell them about my next move not to give them a chance to insert their opinion, but just to see how it sounds.  “I’m looking for a new job” sounds really different when it comes out of your mouth than when you say it in your head.

We do things our own way in our own time because deep down, we know how to take care of ourselves.  Friends still come to me for advice and my favorite thing to say, which I will always say with a smile is, “You do you.”