Dear Bro Chick,
You are not 20 years old anymore…
You have been over 21 for five years, your ID is legitimate, stop looking nervously at the bouncer.
I know it’s cold, but you should not wear Uggs to work. You are a professional. (Actually forget that one, once the temperature falls below 10 degrees all f***s go out the window)
You will feel terrible tomorrow if you stay up past 1:30am tonight.
Do not order a bud light at a bar…even if they’re only $3.
You have had that poster of Johnny Depp playing the piano since you were 16. It has a hole in it. It’s time to take it down.
It is not appropriate to have a temper tantrum:
-when the bagel store runs out of everything bagels
-when the line at Starbucks is really long
-when your boss ignores you
-when you step in a puddle
-when the train is delayed
–ever…you are an adult
Maybe don’t yell as loud in a sports bar during a Giants game…unless there is someone louder. And drunker.
Quality over quantity.
Do not be the drunkest girl at the party.
You ordered and paid for a subscription to Women’s Health, read them and stop letting them pile up under the coffee table.
Donuts are not an appropriate meal. Neither are jelly beans.
Brush you hair.
You WILL get a hangover if you have that next drink.
And most importantly, keep trying, keep growing, and keep rocking on.
The Bro Chick