Occasionally I read through the posts on my blogs to see how my writing has changed, how I’ve changed, and because I find my own writing entertaining (plus I can spot missed grammatical errors). If you’ve read through my blog you’ve probably noticed I have a few recurring themes; the concept of ‘you do you’, having an undesirable career situation, and booze (mainly whiskey, of course). I will not deny that I love booze. Not in an ‘I sit on my couch cursing my life choices drinking out of the bottle’ way, but more of ‘it’s nice out/my friends are here/I’m not at work/it’s the weekend’ way. As I read through my articles that reference my love of whiskey, I started to think about other types of adult beverages and how you can get a good read about someone based on their drink choice. You may think that judging a person based on their choice of beverage (or lack there of) is juvenile and irrelevant, but I disagree. Behold, my guide of drink choices and what they say about you:
An IPA/Porter/other beer that costs $8+ not at happy hour: you’re happy to be hanging out, might get a buzz on, and just seeing where life takes you. Cheers.
A bud light/coors light/or other beer consumed mainly by college students: you are under 21 or on a very strict budget. There is no other acceptable reason.
You do not want to be out past 11pm. You are upset that you have to stand at the bar. I feel you and I like your style.
Malibu Baybreeze or other fruity cocktail
You’re drinking it out of straw held between two of your fingers, smiling for no reason, and wearing a maxi dress. There’s a 99% chance I do not like you.
Redbull and Vodka
You don’t like booze. You like being drunk. I can respect that.
Shots of anything
Please get away from me…unless you have pickle juice #letsgetweird.
Cocktail or liquor/beer no one has heard of (even the bartender) you claim is amazing
You are a douche.
You’re ‘watching your figure’. Those taste terrible. Get a real drink, the calories are worth it.
Flavored vodka soda.
You’re a woman ‘watching your figure’.
*Note: If I am drinking one of these (especially cherry vodka) it means I have blacked out and I need to go home.
Gin and Tonic
Those taste like Christmas and I don’t understand you.
A solid choice. If it’s white – you will be very drunk soon. If it’s red – you will be asleep in the corner soon.
We can be friends.
You’re pregnant, driving, sober, or so hungover that not even hair of the dog can save you. Otherwise…I have my eye on you.