A new addition to The Bro Chick: Bro Chick Survival Guides! Get excited.
Today we’ll be talking about how to navigate the holidays, fashion-wise, when you hate getting manicures and don’t know how an eyelash curler works. Let’s get started…
Although I enjoy putting on a nice dress and occasionally a pair of heels, for the most part I’m pretty low key when it comes to my appearance. Working with engineers certainly does little to inspire me to explore new trends. My beat up ballet flats and favorite pair of thrift store jeans usually do the trick. But holiday time is upon us which brings office parties, holiday parties, and family events. Until a few years ago these occasions had a minimal effect on my desire to put effort into my appearance, but now there is an enemy to men and women everywhere. This enemy threatens to capture our lack of hair styling techniques, runny eye liner, and ill-fitting blouses. It goes by the name of Instagram.
Thanks to social media, now everyone can take pictures of you and post them online for all the world to see. Had this existed several years ago, there would be evidence of that time I wore my back-brace and leggings to Christmas eve dinner. Thankfully that photo has long since been destroyed.
While I do believe you should “love the skin your in” and not put a huge emphasis on your outfit (more emphasis should be placed on making witty, yet PC, social commentary or navigating an awkward family moment), it still feels good to walk out your door and think “Yup…I’d do me.” As a girl who takes five minutes to put on her makeup (all purchased at CVS) and tries to get away with wearing the same sweater 3x a week, here are a few tips that require minimal effort but return maximum awesomeness.
#1. If you got it, flaunt it
Don’t let your boobs or butt hang out. Let’s just get that out in the open now. However, figure-fitting and curve hugging clothes are your friends. You can improvise if you don’t have any. If you have a dress that resembles a tarp, use a belt to give you a waist. This way you don’t have to go buy something tight and when you eat too much you can take the belt off and hope no one notices.
Keep It Simple Stupid (my favorite multi-use acronym)! This is not the time to learn to contour or figure out how a curling iron works. There’s enough stress from traveling, cooking, and refusing to check your bank account after all your Christmas shopping. If you wear makeup normally, stick to your routine and maybe try a small change (like wearing lipstick if usually go au natural). If you don’t wear make up, try wearing earrings or a statement necklace (I think that’s a thing).
#3. Be prepared
If you’re going to take a bold step and wear heels, then for the love of God stash a pair of flats in your bag. Those 2″ heels may not feel bad for the first hour of the party, but by the end you’ll be strongly leaning towards giving no f*cks and being the girl who went barefoot at the party. While it’s certainly better than being the girl who sat in the corner alone, it’s still not ideal. Plus, what if people go out after? What if there’s nowhere to sit at the bar? What if it’s crowded and someone knocks you over? That opens up a whole new world of issues, but we’ll save that for another time.
I get my nails done once a year, if that. But if I really want to step it up a notch I will give in and get a manicure. Because when I try to do it myself it looks like I let a kindergartner paint my fingers. Some salons also do holiday specials for blowouts so be sure to check to see what’s available in your area. Spending $30 on your hair is significantly better than try to salvage a hair style after your hair got stuck (and burnt) in your hair dryer. Just bring flats or scrap the heels all together. I won’t judge you.
#5. When in doubt…stand in the back
Ah, the group shot. There’s one at every party and it always makes it way to at least 5 different Instagrams or Facebook pages. I always try to position myself in between people (as long as there’s 2 or more) because I have not mastered “the skinny arm”. I also read somewhere that you should keep your chin slightly up to avoid a double chin situation. Or you could do what I do and say “f*ck it” and make a ridiculous face. The choice is yours.
From all of us at the Bro Chick (i.e., me), happy holidays and may the social media gods have mercy on your soul.