The nickname “the bro chick” comes from a dear friend of mine. He gave me the name because of three defining factors:
- I love whiskey
- I love football
- I don’t understand (most) women
“Bro chick” also reflects the fact that I am not a “girly-girl”. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a girly-girl, it’s just not me. My friends having lovingly teased me for not knowing how to use a curling iron, for cutting my own hair with kitchen scissors (don’t worry, I washed them before and after), for only owning purses that come from Target, and for always choosing a playoff game over “The Bachelor” (or some other reality dating show). However, I do wear makeup (sometimes) and I like to wear dresses (mainly because I find shorts horribly uncomfortable and wearing pants is the worst).
While I agree these things separate me and other bro chicks from the girly-girls, they are not what makes one a bro chick; it’s that third bullet point that separates us.
You know what sounds like a nightmare? A bachelorette party, a bridal shower, or a baby shower. Why? Because it’s a group of women talking about things I could give less of a shit about. I don’t care that your baby learned to walk at nine months (unless you’re related to me – then please send videos). I don’t care that your fiance got you a ring without inclusions or whatever makes a diamond expensive. And I’m actually not impressed that you got that dress at Marshalls, I just feign interest to avoid you telling every other woman to ignore me. Because that’s a thing – it has happened to me before and to this day I don’t know why someone would do that. It was a dick move.
For whatever reason, most women seem to hate other women. Perhaps it’s jealousy or insecurity or whatever, but whatever it is it sucks. I have worked with 99% women and 99% men and guess what? Working with 99% men was LEAPS AND BOUNDS better than working with that many women. No one talked my ear off about their expensive handbag or how many calories they had consumed that morning while I was trying to work. Most importantly – no one threw each other under the bus.
Ladies, this is my main issue and why I actively avoid women I don’t know in social situations – you are mean. You are mean for no legitimate reason and it sucks. Just because I’m friends with your boyfriend does not mean that I want to sleep with him. Just because I wore Uggs out in public does not mean I’m some sort of leper that should be pointed at and given dirty looks. And just because I have a job that sounds really technical does not mean you should feel threatened by me or instantly label me a “nerd”.
Why is it so hard for women to be nice to each other? Men don’t seem to have this problem. Does society pin us against each other? Can there be only one supreme woman? Because if there can, it’s Oprah. We all lost so it’s time we got over it.
So please don’t give me a nasty look when I talk to your boyfriend about the Giants. It’s not some vindictive way to seduce him. I’m making conversation because your death stare does not make me want to ask about your shoes. I have wonderful female friends so I know it’s possible for us to get along. If we took the energy we spent judging, backstabbing, and criticizing each other, we probably would have had a female president 20 years ago.
Take a lesson from the guys and just f*cking relax and be nice. Not everything is a competition and your friend’s promotion, baby, husband, or 10lb loss does not make you dumber, less likely to get married/pregnant, or fatter.
Now let’s have a beer and move on.