Anxiety is word that gets thrown around a lot in our culture. I’m not here to stand on a soapbox and tell you what “real” anxiety is because I can’t do that. I know what my anxiety is but I don’t know your life, and I’m not going to stand here and tell you what it is vs. what it isn’t. Instead, I’m here to tell you how I deal with it with the hope that my survival tips can help you too.
Whether you’ve been diagnosed with anxiety or your feel stress from time to time, we can all agree that anxiety is annoying and something that go from inconvenient to crippling very quickly. Recently, my anxiety has been through the roof. Starting a new job, trying to finish up my yoga certification, planning a wedding, and just existing in New York City have my nerves all sorts of screwed up. It’s so out of control that I get anxious just trying to decide what to each for lunch, which can lead to me hiding in the bathroom contemplating if I can scale down my building to run down the street screaming.
Needless to say, it sucks and I’m not about it.
I have a plethora of coping skills thanks you years of therapy, but when my anxiety reaches new levels it can become impossible to implement them into my life. My beloved yoga mat goes unused, my essential oils never seem to make into my work bag, and crying in the bathroom gets really old really fast. So what have I been doing to maintain any semblance of sanity?
I write down or think about every single step I’m going to take.
That might sound excruciatingly tedious and annoying by I swear to Mama Rupaul that it works. So here’s what I do:
When I’m sitting at my desk, walking through my office, or even sitting on my couch I think about all the steps I need to take. Not all the things I need to do – the physical steps I’m going to take. For example, here’s what I’ve been writing down today:
- At 5pm I’m going to close my laptop and put it in my purse. Then I’ll put my headphones on and turn my music on.
- I’ll walk out of the office and go to stairwell because I don’t want to be near other people in an elevator or god forbid get stuck one. I’ll walk down six flights of stairs and admire the old architecture of the building.
- Once I get to the bottom I’ll go through the door, not the revolving door because they make me anxious, and turn right.
- Once I get to 6th Ave I’ll turn right and then right again at 19th St. SoulCycle is half way down the block.
Today I needed more of a distraction from my thoughts so I got pretty specific. Other days, it looks more like this:
- I’ll leave my office at 5pm and walk towards 6th Ave. I’ll turn right at 19th St. and walk to SoulCycle.
- Once I get to SoulCycle I’ll get changed and go to my bike. After class I’ll walk to 23rd St. and take the subway from there.
- After I get home, I’ll shower and order sushi as a reward for making it through the day.
Different approaches, similar results. Sometimes I do a combination of these tactics and get really specific and include things I’ll see on the way to know I’m getting closer to my destination. I vary it based on the way I feel because there is no right or wrong way to do it.
When even this is too much and feel too stressful, I’ll repeat a mantra over and over. A mantra is a word, sound, or phrases repeated to aid concentration in meditation, but you can use them all the time. Most of the times I use mantras in sanskrit that I learned through my yoga practice. Other times I repeat simple phrases like “you’re ok”, “you’re safe”, or “I can”. There’s something soothing and meditative about the repetition, even if you’re walking down 5th Avenue during rush hour.
Give it a try and post your favorite mantras in the comments, I’d love to read them!